This is harder than you might think. When I was a child, my mom used to always tell me that whatever I dreamed of becoming as a child was God’s way of showing me what he wanted me to become as an adult.
I don’t know how true that is because now that I am an adult with my own children, I am not doing what I pictured myself as a child. However, I do think she was on to something.
When I was a child I loved to sing and perform for anyone who would watch me. I was called little “Dolly Parton”. She was and is, after all, my favorite singer of all time, and I would even dress up to be Dolly on Halloween. Oh, you should have seen the big stuffed boobs and blonde wig I had. I thought I looked amazing… HAHA ?! I told everyone that one day they would hear me on the radio singing country music. As time went on I sang a lot throughout my life. My friends and I would go karaoke every Friday night, and by the time high school rolled around I joined choir, band, and sang in church. The biggest accomplishment I ever had with my singing was being asked to sing at my high school graduation. I was so nervous. I had never sung in front of that many people before. I even cried when telling my best friend about it. Being she was my singing partner she encouraged me to go for it and so I did. I dedicated the song to my mom, the song was (26 Cents). I never thought that I would lose my mom so early in life, and how much that song would mean to me now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpFBNBFuFw0
Singing took a backseat for a while, but my love for it never faded. I even started my own music class. Music with Ms. Sheena. I had children ages 0 – 7, and I would sing, and dance with them. It was so much fun, but with most small businesses it faded after only one short year. I did marry a singer however, he does not sing for a living but did go to college for it and even got his BA for musical performance. We share music with our children and often sing them to sleep at night. So, music for me was a passion, but not one I ended up doing as a job. Because, after all, we have more than one passion, but we just have to find the right one to focus on.
One thing that I never realized that I did daily as a teen, that I noticed recently was all of my journals. I wrote in my journal every day of high school. I have 4 years of books with nothing but my thoughts, my stories, and my deep emotions that I had hidden away. Even though I pictured myself as a singer, my actions were saying something else. Yes, I sang with my friends all the time, but every chance I got, I would write. I have a ton of stories that no one will probably ever see, mostly because I was young when I wrote them and wouldn’t think anyone would actually want to read them. So, here I am in my thirties, with three kids, a husband, both parents in heaven, and searching for my true passion in this crazy thing called life.
Being a mom! That has to be my true passion, right? I have always wanted to be a mom. I dreamed of that since I was young so that…that must be my true passion, so why do I still feel lost?
When I had Keira, my first-born child I was 23 years old. Young, newlywed, and clueless how to raise a baby. My mom was a huge help in this department and believe me I called her for everything, but as most new moms do, I fell into a postpartum depression. I was not hating my child, but I felt a loss for my old self. I could no longer go out whenever I wanted to be with friends, and I went from working since the age of 16 to now being a stay at home mom with no interaction with people. Do you know what got me out of my depression? Blogging! Yeah, I have a personal blog that maybe 5 people have read, but I wrote down my thoughts, just as I had in high school. I wrote down the good, the bad, and the ugly and I finally got a grip on my reality and stopped being down. Here is a link if you care to see my raw and very personal blog (my adult diary).
I am just discovering this now, as I started this new blog how much I love and actually missed writing. So, I have found my passion! It’s writing. It always has been, I just never considered it a passion because it was something I was just good at and liked doing but never thought of it as a career. Now that I have discovered writing again when I am working at my day job, I find myself thinking about my next topic on my blog. This is something that sparks a light inside me like nothing else has and I didn’t even see it until I stopped writing and found it again. I honestly did not know writing was my passion until I started doing it again. I took action, and everything else just fell into place. Sometimes thinking will get you frustrated because our brain does not like to shut up, so I encourage you to do it! Feel your way to what it is you love. Art, music, writing, cooking, photography, whatever it is… let your heart walk for you!
So, the point of my story is to get you digging deep into your own soul to find out what you are truly passionate about. Think about you as a child, what you always thought about, what you wanted to be when you grew up, and what you spent most of your time doing. The answer lies somewhere in those memories and hidden somewhere in your actions.
I know a close friend of mine who always used to play Doctor when we were little. She had a doctor kit and would pretend to do checkups on everything that was alive in her house or mine. She loved Band-Aids and every time she would come over she would be covered in colored Band-Aids. Not because she was injured, but because she had given herself a checkup and wanted to wear one to represent the pretend shot she gave herself. Do you know what my friend is doing now as an adult? She is a nurse and loves every minute of it. I call her still to this day and she always raves about her job and how she got to save a life. I love her heart and the fact that she knew what she was meant to do from such a young age. Most of us are not that lucky, and we go through life questioning our purpose.
I can’t answer this for you, and the only one who has that answer is you. So, this is where you have to go back in your memories, think about little you. Think about the times that made you happy and when you felt the most fulfilled. Then write those moments down, and read them over and over. Then take action. The answer is within you, and it may not always be visible right away. Just like with my story, my passion was hiding beneath my voice. But I can reach way more people through my writing than I ever could through my singing and that’s how I know this is my true passion and purpose. Everything about it gets me excited and makes me feel alive. Ask yourself these 13 things.
- What is your passion? Dig deep!
- What makes you happy?
- What gets you excited when you think about it?
- What makes you pace back and forth with ideas?
- What did your heart tell you as a child?
- What keeps popping up in your head right now?
- Stop pushing those thoughts out, because you think they seem crazy!
- What do you love to talk about?
- What pretend games did you play as a child?
- Visualize what feels right. It’s not always the easiest path, and you have to hush your brain when you start telling yourself you could never make money as a dancer.
- Stop the chatter of your rational self, and just let your mind be free to discover your happiness. Once you know what it is, make a point to have time for it.
- If you can’t make this dream a career, make time to do it on weekends.
- Make it a hobby if nothing else, but above all make it a priority!
God gives us the desires in our hearts for a reason. He plants the seed, and it’s up to us to make it grow or let it die. But when we let that passion die, we never feel fulfilled. We keep looking for the next thing, for something to fill the void. Stop searching! Sit down in a quiet place and give yourself space to think. To dream, to meditate, and to see your true self.
I want to help you find your happy place.
So, let me ask you again, what is your true passion?